America's finest news source:

With this groundbreaking new release, Apple has completely revolutionized the way we experience an ephemeral sense of wonder lasting no longer than several moments.

Michiru Hoshino:

Oh! I feel it. I feel the cosmos!

Jerry Seinfeld, accepting a Clio:

I love advertising, because I love lying. In advertising, everything is the way you wish it was. I don't care that it won't be like that when I actually get the product being advertised, because, in between seeing the commercial and owning the thing, I'm happy, and that's all I want.

Randall Munroe:

What if I want something more than the pale facsimile of fulfillment brought by a parade of ever-fancier toys?

To spend my life restlessly producing instead of sedately consuming?

Is there an app for that?

Caterina Fake:

Much more important than working hard is knowing how to find the right thing to work on.