The following is your Speaker's practical guide for Black Hat Japan.
Attached you will also find a PDF with helpful instructions regarding your arrival in Japan. If you have any questions, never hesitate to Ask. Thank you.

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Plan on speaking at about one third your normal pace.

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Talk style and difference of language structure Japanese sentence structure is different than English. English is Subject-Verb-Object, but Japanese is Subject-Object-Verb. This means the translator needs to hear the complete sentence before they can translate it.

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If they never get a chance to breathe, you are talking too fast. With these reasons, especially "Machine gun Talk" or "Elevator Pitch" type of talk style will fail completely.

Wow. This is going to be tough.

[At Bluehat, during Jeff Forristal's presentation]
Caleb: Thats' how fast you talk
Me: Really? Are you kidding me?
Caleb: Yep, that fast. And with hand gestures. Lots of hand gestures

Meanwhile, the methodology the military is using to gauge violence in Baghdad has come under fire.

"By carefully manipulating the statistics, the Bush-Petraeus report will try to persuade us that violence in Iraq is decreasing and thus the surge is working," said the Senate's No. 2 Democrat, addressing a Washington think tank last week.

Durbin's criticism was echoed by David Walker, head of the nonpartisan Government Accountability Office, who also raised questions about how the statistics were compiled.

In testimony before the Senate Armed Services Committee on Friday, Walker said he is not comfortable with the methodology used to track the death toll driven by sectarian violence.

For instance, he said, a body found with a gunshot to the front of the head is classified as an ordinary crime, while a body with a gunshot to the back of the head is attributed to sectarian violence.

Walker said he would expect such a methodology to reflect a reduction in sectarian violence.

Sound like somebody might be using Fuzzy Math.

And, on a side note, CNN's website sure looked like crap in 2000...

Measuring Iraq's violence

This is one of the most beautiful and yet humble sights I've seen in a while. A years worth of work, reduced to 8 megs on an FTP site.

I guess ~130 TIFFs compress really well.

[dances]

It's 1:40am. If no one can see my dancing, is it still bad?

[thinks]

... screw it

[dances]
[cats run in terror]

... I guess that answers that

[resumes dancing]

WooooooooHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

"America really doesn't give a s*** about New Orleans. We forget. The bridge that collapsed [in Minnesota] -- it's gone, it's yesterday's news. The miners -- if they're not digging a sixth hole, we forget about them. We as a society, we really don't give a damn," Ventura said.

Even our assclown of a president has forgotten New Orleans.

I don't see him making any more bullshit speeches about promising to "rebuild our city" while standing in front of an American flag and broken homes and wearing a button-up shirt with no tie and rolled up sleeves, as if the cluster fuck that is his domestic policy is actually "working" on the problem.

Tale of two cities: Biloxi and New Orleans - CNN.com

Me: Did you hear about that Senator pleading guilty
Bryan: You lose a little street cred when your a republican and you try to bang another guy in the mens room.

(Late night) Quotes at work

JAPAN! (as in a personal invite to go speak at BH Japan)
HOUSE! (as in a 4 bedroom 2.5 bath in Roswell, closing is on Sept 24th)

But not JAPAN HOUSE! That would just be silly. I've never been to Asia before. I've never owned a house before. Two cherries in one day! I'm a life's experiences whore!

[Does HR inappropriate victory dance...]

WHOOOO! Stock payout day! WHOOOO!

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OK, so its not quite hookers and drugs and fast cars and "fuck you I'm fully vested" money, but it will make my down payment on a house much nicer!

Mark: Meg White is hot. You know she owns ever Bob Dylan album ever made?
Bryan: I own ever Bob Dylan album ever made.
Mark: ...Not quite the same thing but buy me a drink and we can talk

Any press release that contains a reference to an escort service is a good press release! You'll see what I mean soon.

Erik: I've collected a lot fo worthless currency. Like from all the European countries that switched to the Euro.
Bryan: I've got some Confederate money.
Billy: Can't you still use that Stone Mountain?
Bryan: Probably, Did you know the Klan built Stone Mountain?
Mark: Oh really? What was your first clue?? Maybe the 200 ft carving of Confederate War Heros?