Mark: Meg White is hot. You know she owns ever Bob Dylan album ever made?
Bryan: I own ever Bob Dylan album ever made.
Mark: ...Not quite the same thing but buy me a drink and we can talk

Any press release that contains a reference to an escort service is a good press release! You'll see what I mean soon.

Erik: I've collected a lot fo worthless currency. Like from all the European countries that switched to the Euro.
Bryan: I've got some Confederate money.
Billy: Can't you still use that Stone Mountain?
Bryan: Probably, Did you know the Klan built Stone Mountain?
Mark: Oh really? What was your first clue?? Maybe the 200 ft carving of Confederate War Heros?

Forget fireworks. Forget singing the national anthem. I spent the 4th of July watching Chuck Norris films.

For future reference:

98a358d372c87da29509a44cc3ec387f

--timball

billy's bachelor party

... oh wait. That's an old picture, here you go:

It's offical: Quasimodo runs for president!

A group called the X Foundation is planning to award $10 million to anyone who can design a commercially viable car that can get 100 miles per gallon.

I realize that the shapes of hybrid car are based on aerodynamic efficiency. But I have to ask myself what percentage of the improved gas mileage is directly due to the car being shaped like a whale’s penis? Wouldn’t it make more sense to design the car to be 2% less energy efficient, 100% more attractive, and thereby sell 300% more of them? Are these car makers even trying?

Yeah, yeah, I know that Leonardo DiCaprio drives a hybrid, and he’s sleeping with supermodels. But I guarantee that they make him wear condoms. Probably two or three at a time. And I’ve yet to see a paparazzi get a picture of both Leonardo AND a supermodel going on a date in a Prius. If a supermodel gets photographed in a Prius, her next assignment is pointing at rugs in the JC Penney catalog.

If the X Foundation contest ends up designing a car that gets 100 mpg, the car company that buys the patents will produce a car that looks like a cancerous spleen. And they’ll name it something like the Toyota Nonads.

The Dilbert Blog: The Car You Won’t Own

King Abdullah's harsh -- and unexpected -- attack on the U.S. military presence in Iraq could be a Saudi attempt to signal to Washington its anger over the situation in Iraq and build credibility among fellow Arabs.

"In beloved Iraq, blood is flowing between brothers, in the shadow of an illegitimate foreign occupation, and abhorrent sectarianism threatens a civil war," said Abdullah, whose country is a U.S. ally that quietly aided the 2003 U.S.-led invasion of Iraq.

A Saudi official said the king was speaking as the president of the summit and his remarks reflected general frustration with the "patchwork" job the Americans were doing to end violence in Iraq.

The king also wanted to send a message that Iraq is an issue that Arabs cannot turn their back on, the official said. He spoke on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the issue.

Translation: Iraq is such a cluster fuck in the eye's of your average Arab that the even the Saudis need to disassociate themselves with us for fear an internal revolt against their already 3-day old monarchy.

Our allies in this region are asymptoticly approaching only Israel.

Saudi's on U.S. in Iraq: 'illegitimate foreign occupation'

You know its a good start to a party when Jay Beale comes up to you and says "Billy, I need your clothes."