This started as a response to someone who told me that Atlanta was cool as long as you stay north. Well thats fascist bullshit. Cause all the good bars are south of ponce (sopo). Here's the Jollarian Bar Guide for Lefties in Atlanta: I'm serious, these are Atlanta's best bars, in no particular order. Believe me, I have done thorough research. Try not to be lame by going up North: The Yacht Club, Little 5 Points
Good place to get drunk. They put up with anything here. Talk about the death of Cheney (by excessive sex with prostitute and resulting heart failure) with waitress as she takes your order. Practice runway walks up and down the length of the bar. Work it, girl. The Earl, East Atlanta
Good place to meet girls. Crowded as hell on weekends, often live music. Best thing: Sunday "dunch," kick ass brunch open early for getting some Huevos Rancheros with a PBR before taking a nap. Everyone goes here at some point. Unspecial, but a landmark. Mary is Atlanta's best waitress. Don't hang around outside after closing, or the police might beat you. Lenny's, Memorial Drive
My favorite, Atlanta's best, and shittiest, dive bar. Get drunk, throw up, pass out: who cares? Punk rockers, hippies, corporate types, rockers, asian hoes, white hoes, black hoes, all kinds of hoes. Diverse in its shittiness. Atlanta's most charming men's room. Go during the day to see some of Atlanta's friendliest alcoholics, where profound political discussions can be had. Go at night for a party. Different themes on different nights. Steve Miller, RIP. Come on a bicycle, get in free! Free pool for paying customers. The Gravity Pub, East Atlanta
Good place for lefty conversation, while sucking down PBR. Really good atmosphere. A library and couch area at back, a secret room downstairs with darts, pool and other games (inquire about cards). Pretty white, but good people. Creative Loafing's Atlanta's best bartender works here (forgot her name!) Mary's, East Atlanta
Atlanta's gayest, gayest, gay gay gay Kareoki bar. Put your heart into that song, straight boy... there are girls here that will cheer you for it. Don't get drunk enough that you question your own sexuality, unless you think you're up for that. Fairly respectful and tame, though. Probably noone will ask if they can blow you, unless you want them to. Lots of straight guys go here sometimes. Kareoki all the time. Tell the very attractive bartender with short blonde spiky hair that he's a fucking asshole. (Notice how many bars/restaruants in the small town square of East Atlanta?) Charlie and Barney's, Downtown beside Benihanas on Peachtree Center
Atlanta's best convention bar and MILF hunting ground. As long as its convention season. Pool is fun. Beating trash talkers can result in standing ovations... if you're a Peyomp. ;) Good mix of white and black here, all getting along. If you're young, under 300 pounds, have hair and speak passable english... stick around and be the guy that isn't one of a sexually frustrated MILF's fellow conventioneers, that hit on her in the most inept ways. She is tired of it. She is not tired of you. Enquire about the convention schedule at the bar, if its dead that night. O'Terrils, Piedmont Ave. Downtown
My local bar. Good Irish pub, run by good people, with a great menu and (at my request) cheap PBR, as well as a fine selection of imported drafts and a patio thats heated in winter. Good mix of people here too: WASP corporate lawyers, Jamaican Rastafarians, students, blue collar types, groups of girls easily approachable... what more do you want? Try the apple sauce. Rufus makes it himself, and its red, and its the best I ever had. I love this place. It is the reason I have to quit drinking so frequently. . The Clairmont Lounge, Ponce De Leon, Midtown Atlanta
This is the world's ugliest strip club. Go because its hilarious. Take a friend. Buy him a dance with a hideous stripper best known for rupturing a disk in a man's neck with a smack from her massive obese breast. Ask for Blondie. This is a strip club for people that hate strip clubs. You can actually meet girls here. Avoid that middle aged businessman sipping scotch at the bar that actually LIKES the girls. Lots of sex in the bathrooms, between customers, not strippers. Don't go farther north than this. 97 Estoria, Cabbage Town next to historic Crog Street Tunnel
Upscale downscale, cool but never played out... nicer than you'd think it would be, big ass patio, newly expanded bathrooms for more efficient concurrent use for coke-whoring and urinating/bar shitting. Have a drink while plotting the revolution. Kick ass jukebox. The samosas suck by Indian standards, but... samosas in a bar! AMAZING! Plenty of available girls here. Noteworthy Mentions: The Local (fallen out of favor), the Side Bar (farlie poplar, downtown, only bar open after work down there, cozy), Carnegies (get plastered with lawyers and executives after work), Sensational Subs (downtown, mini pitchers cheap, GSU crowd), the Star Bar (if you're a scenester or like corn dogs), the Brewhouse (for early evening barfood on the patio... no PBR) and I think thats it. Begin your evening with a burrito at El Myr (Mir) (Little 5 Points). End your evening with food at the Majestic(on Ponce, decent food, always open... for like 50 years). Try not to drive in between. There isn't an abundance of cabs, so have your server/bartender call ahead. |
