As I hear more and more about the events going on in China leading up to the summer Olympic games, I have one thing to say:
CHINA HAS SOME BIBLICAL SHIT GOING ON!
In the past few days, I found out that China has been going through some tough plagues. Currently, the Chinese Army is having to remove algae from the beaches and have deployed a bunch of people to the border near Mongolia to repel a swarm of locust headed toward Beijing.
"The northern province of Inner Mongolia has mobilized 33,000 people to repel swarms of locusts, the official Xinhua news agency reported. The locusts have come within 430 kilometers (267 miles) of Beijing and infested an area of 1.3 million hectares (5,000 square miles)."
While this sucks a lot for China, I started to think about how this is not the only plague going on in China.
May I Present Exhibit: Totally Screwed.
Earthquake - This changed the maps of their country. Incredible!
I guess architecture and structural integrity are considered ancient Chinese secrets.
Floods - The earthquakes and issues with damning on the rivers have caused crazy flooding.
I can't say too much after Katrina and the mid-west. No one seems to have a solution for the imminent threat water poses. Potential solution: pollute it till it stops destroying shit?
Rats - Apparently, they are trucking the rats to cities as a supplement for food because of how many have swarmed villages.
The best part is that they are using them for food!
Frogs - What the fuck? The frogs are actually swarming cities and villages.
So the guy that brought us a decent Transformers remake apparently submitted a script for the new batman movie. Its a little bit transformers, a little bit bad hacker movie, and a little bit of every steaming horse shit. All-in-all, you will piss yourself laughing.
"Joker unleashes an all-out barrage of missiles, like the biggest fucking missiles you will ever see."
Read the entire thing because its just that terrible.
I'm starting to see spam of an odd sort where a number of blog posts, videos, and other content are being advertised as an interesting or relevant item but instead of having a money making scheme at the end, its some spin on Rick Astley's song 'Never gonna give you up' stating that you have been "Rick Roll'd". I'd rather shower with a bear than hear this song again.
What the hell is going on? Its everywhere. Its like the plague.
You know what I don't have a problem giving up? The plague. And Rick Astley.
The day after the DC Madam vowed to release the names of everyone she provided hookers to.... she died. If she was in a class entitled, "How to not piss off people", she would have failed.
"Ms Palfrey, often referred to as "the DC Madam", was found dead in a shed next to her mother's house in Florida."
I'm not a conspiracy theorist but its just far too unlikely that most the people associated with the DC madam are committing suicide. Especially the day after saying she would release dirt on everyone.
"In January, Brandy Britton, a professor at the University of Maryland as well as an employee of the escort service, killed herself before she was due to face trial on prostitution charges."
When you have sex with important people and then threaten to give them up, they might just kill you.
"Other patrons of the agency - known as Pamela Martin and Associates - included Nasa officials, top military officers, World Bank and International Monetary Fund executives, as well as the head of the US Agency for International Development (USAID), Randall Tobias, who stepped down after being named as a client."
What did we learn? Don't hold dirt on important people if they are the kind of important people that might just kill you. Class dismissed.
Residents of the Greek Island Lesbos are filing papers to stop the GLBT from using the term "Lesbian" in reference to a homosexual.
"The issue boils down to who has the right to call themselves Lesbians."
If you search for lesbians it becomes very easy to understand why the residents are upset. Those lesbos are different from these Lesbos.
So... I was going to follow this up with two pictures. One of ellen degeneris and rosie o'donnell where I make a comment about how those lesbos should be more like these lesbos and show a picture of some hot lesbian make out action. Unfortunately its a catch-22 - our dreams came true and I can't find a picture of lesbians that is appropriate enough for this forum but there is only hot lesbian porn on the internet now.
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