I say inappropriate things at inappropriate times.
Why Heath Ledger killed himself.... the movie.
5:14 am EDT, Jul 4, 2008
So the guy that brought us a decent Transformers remake apparently submitted a script for the new batman movie. Its a little bit transformers, a little bit bad hacker movie, and a little bit of every steaming horse shit. All-in-all, you will piss yourself laughing.
"Joker unleashes an all-out barrage of missiles, like the biggest fucking missiles you will ever see."
Read the entire thing because its just that terrible.
I'm starting to see spam of an odd sort where a number of blog posts, videos, and other content are being advertised as an interesting or relevant item but instead of having a money making scheme at the end, its some spin on Rick Astley's song 'Never gonna give you up' stating that you have been "Rick Roll'd". I'd rather shower with a bear than hear this song again.
What the hell is going on? Its everywhere. Its like the plague.
You know what I don't have a problem giving up? The plague. And Rick Astley.
The day after the DC Madam vowed to release the names of everyone she provided hookers to.... she died. If she was in a class entitled, "How to not piss off people", she would have failed.
"Ms Palfrey, often referred to as "the DC Madam", was found dead in a shed next to her mother's house in Florida."
I'm not a conspiracy theorist but its just far too unlikely that most the people associated with the DC madam are committing suicide. Especially the day after saying she would release dirt on everyone.
"In January, Brandy Britton, a professor at the University of Maryland as well as an employee of the escort service, killed herself before she was due to face trial on prostitution charges."
When you have sex with important people and then threaten to give them up, they might just kill you.
"Other patrons of the agency - known as Pamela Martin and Associates - included Nasa officials, top military officers, World Bank and International Monetary Fund executives, as well as the head of the US Agency for International Development (USAID), Randall Tobias, who stepped down after being named as a client."
What did we learn? Don't hold dirt on important people if they are the kind of important people that might just kill you. Class dismissed.
Residents of the Greek Island Lesbos are filing papers to stop the GLBT from using the term "Lesbian" in reference to a homosexual.
"The issue boils down to who has the right to call themselves Lesbians."
If you search for lesbians it becomes very easy to understand why the residents are upset. Those lesbos are different from these Lesbos.
So... I was going to follow this up with two pictures. One of ellen degeneris and rosie o'donnell where I make a comment about how those lesbos should be more like these lesbos and show a picture of some hot lesbian make out action. Unfortunately its a catch-22 - our dreams came true and I can't find a picture of lesbians that is appropriate enough for this forum but there is only hot lesbian porn on the internet now.
Today, I received a letter from the IRS saying I owed $4000. The problem is that I don't owe $4000. The problem is that the tax code is so complex that the IRS fucked up their own books. In fact, the IRS owes me more money. I am so pissed off right now - I'm going to rant and as the Internet is the place where every jackass on earth can voice his opinion with the same lack of credibility as every other jackass, I figure I am owed my due.
It just doesn't make any sense why we are paying taxes this high anyway. For that matter, why are we paying them at all? If I give someone $20 to mow my lawn, and then they don't. The next time they come by my house, I don't give them another $20 dollars. When you pay someone, you are supposed to get what you payed for. I wouldn't have such a problem paying taxes except I don't get what I pay for.
Every time I pay my taxes the streets still have potholes, the schools are still terrible, we don't have universal health care (not saying we need but for the amount we spend we could), and yet I still have to pay money. Where are my taxes going? What is the government doing with my money? The only thing keeping me from not paying my taxes is the threat of going to jail and honestly, the jokes on them. The cost of maintaining an inmate is higher than the average American pays in taxes.
This seems retarded. Even the tax structure is retarded. Why should I pay more of my paycheck for making more money? Why should anyone? Why don't we set a flat rate? Then everyone would just pay the same amount of their income no matter how much they make. That seems reasonable. Or how about just tax me when I spend it. Then I don't even have to file a tax return. That would be awesome because its a FUCKING WASTE OF MY TIME!
All I wanted to do was make some money. I don't mind giving some of it up if I got results but it seems like every time I take one step forward, the government wants me to take two steps back. Its hard enough making the money and now we can't keep it! What are we - fucking stupid?
I'm a smart guy. Well, kind of but apparently not smart enough. I can't file my own taxes now? Why the fuck can't I file my own taxes? Because it doesn't make any fucking sense. Thats why. I shouldn't have to give someone money to give the government an appropriate amount of money it doesn't spend appropriately. Every American should be able to file their taxes simply if at all!
You know what we need to do? Other than abolish our current tax system... We need to restructure how we "realize" gains. If you sell a stock and roll it into another, you shouldn't pay taxes on it then. You should pay taxes on the gains you remove from it. That makes sense. Let people build a fortune and treat everything as long term gains but make income be taxed at the same rate as capital gains. Then everyone sees the same benefit at the same rate for working or investment. Everyone wins!
And for everyone who says that ... [ Read More (0.7k in body) ]
So today while speaking with one of my house-mates who mentioned that polar bears are becoming at risk of extinction, she made a plea that they were so cute.
While I agree, the polar bears we see in commercials are actually cute - real polar bears will eat your face.... much like the ones seen here in the golden compass. (Note: the above bears are alive only because of the coke bottle in their paws)
Why didn't they eat the little girl? I don't know but how fucking awesome was that? Mother fucking bears! At first I thought the movie was going to suck but this scene is worth it. They should have just renamed the movie "Mother Fucking Bears." Why you might ask - because MOTHER FUCKING BEARS, thats why!
Back to my point. Stephen Colbert has it right to be afraid of bears. Bears will eat you. They are not nice and cuddly which tells me that my house-mate would be eaten in the wilderness.
It isn't as though they are that dumb either. May I present exhibit Wojtek (Polish for Soldier Bear). Wojtek would carry heavy artillery shells for the Polish during WWII. That is not the coolest part. The coolest part is the soldiers considered him part of the team and would sit around and smoke cigarettes and drink beer with him.
What kind of jackass play fights with a bear? Wojtek liked water so much he would drain the water supply if they didn't keep the shower locked. Imagine if the Polish had no soldiers and only bears.... it wouldn't matter how much technology the Germans had because no one fights an army of bears. Especially, beer drinking cigarette smoking bears.
In conclusion: If bears had opposable thumbs, we'd be the ones going extinct.