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Bye Bye Nerdie

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Bye Bye Nerdie
Topic: TV 6:58 am EST, Dec 10, 2007

[The Simpsons attend a convention of scientists. Lisa is to present her findings about bullies. She and Marge are a little intimidated by the crowd, which includes the inventor of the walkie-talkie (and someone who isn't his wife).

Frink calls the crowd to order.]

Frink: Scientists -- scientists, please. Looking for some order. Some order, please, with the eyes forward and the hands neatly folded and the paying attention ... [shouts] Pi is exactly 3! [the audience gasps and falls silent] Very sorry it had to come to that, but now that I have your attention, we have some exciting new research from young Lisa Simpson. Let's bring her out and pay attention.

[the audience applauds as Lisa walks onstage. The crowd sees that she's a little girl, and doubts that she has anything useful to say]

Lisa: [clears throat] My study is called, "Airborne Pheromones and Aggression in Bullies."

[the crowd gasps. Someone says, "I'm afraid"]

For as long as there has been smart people, there have been bullies to prey on them. From Galileo [shows a slide of the astronomer getting beaten up] to Sir Isaac Newton, [another slide] and even in the animal kingdom. [shows a slide of a large dog victimizing a smaller one]

But why do the brawny prey on the brainy. Is it jealousy?

[the crowd seems to think so]

No! The reason is chemical. [the crowd murmurs]

Scientist 1: Wait, that's impossible. Chemicals are our friends.

Dr. Koop: She's a witch!

Bye Bye Nerdie



 
 
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