Caution: top spin ahead! Look out, Maria Sharapova!

No dangerous terrorists are going to get out of detention because of Supreme Court decisions handed down June 28.

Whew! That was a close one. You really had me going there for a second.

That being said, going forward, we still might possibly have to begin considering the necessity of the eventual release of an unspecified number of allegedly non-guilty bystanders. You know, at some point.

"No one's being released as a result of the decisions. In fact, the Supreme Court reaffirmed our authority to detain enemy combatants."

Get somebody in here to disengage his reality mediator, stat!