Dear Human Resources Director:
Recently, I gave serious consideration to filing a sexual harassment suit against a fellow employee who was talking about her husbands erectile dysfunction in the workplace. All of her angry ranting about her husbands lovemaking deficiencies infringes on my right to feel comfortable at all times in the workplace.
And, finally, in 2005, I have now suffered from ED due to a feminists excessive complaints about her husbands ED. Its kind of like trying not to imagine a giant purple elephant.
Obviously, one does not have to be a college professor to see the common theme in all of these instances of ED. Put simply; they were all induced by feminist rage. And, clearly, the six instances I have recounted call for the recognition of a new disability called Feminist Rage Erectile Dysfunction Syndrome, or FREDS.
In anticipation of your formal recognition of FREDS, I have attached an ADA disability claim, which will allow me to leave the university in order to fully recover. Just getting away from campus feminist rage should do the trick. And not having me around might even attenuate the rage of some of these angry feminists.