The police log from beautiful Arcata, CA, in the heart of Humboldt County. Unbelievably funny.

-- snippets --

Sunday, July 7 9:33 p.m.
At the trailer park
As grown-ups shared fisticuffs
A baby cried.

10:21 p.m. A husband-wife argument culminated with him barefoot at a clammy shopping center payphone, pleading with police to "take me away." An officer drove him back to the trailer and stood by while he picked up his stuff.

12:29 p.m. A man was assaulted from behind in what was described as an unprovoked attack at Ninth and H streets. A struggle ensued, falling far short of cinematic depictions of manly conflict, which generally involve heroic posturing, elegant choreography, well-aimed blows and a clear victor and vanquished. In reality, there was a lot of inconclusive grappling, grasping at clothing with heads down, garbled curses and swift encirclement by blue uniforms. A suspect was jailed, no one got the girl and civilization continues to be doomed by powerful evildoers.

3:19 p.m. If what police say is true, a young man attempted to take something from an I street cooperative supermarket that didn’t even belong to him. It gets worse. Evidently the lad has taken a very wrong turn and begun experimenting with marijuana. Right here. In our town.