Borrowing costs on 30-year fixed-rate mortgages, excluding fees, averaged 6.66%, up 0.05 percentage point from the previous week, and matching a four-year high touched two weeks ago.

Booga booga! Happy 6/6/6.

This morning, I hacked into the hotline that connects George Bush and God. God said the rapture is scheduled to start at roughly noon. Bush politely thanked her for letting him know several months in advance so he didn't have to worry about his polling numbers while getting things prepared.

Cthulu should appear on the east coast around 10am. Around 11am it should be revealed that Santa Clause is in fact Satan, and that most of the living population already sold their souls to the devil before even having pubes. It looks to be an exciting day!

The rapture is expected to include roughly six people, all within the very small number of remote tribes that have had limited contact with the rest of the world. After that point, the housing bubble is expected to pop, the hurricane season is going to start producing major storms, and a whole host of other nasty things. Due to budget constraints, and the delays in the normalization of the Middle East, the apocalypse and the following thousand years of peace has been delayed until further notice.

Remember, you heard it here first!