Have a good time! Enjoy the security! You're paying for it.

(Actually, the Pentagon has calculated your daily contribution for the Global War on Terrorism at approximately eighteen cents.)

Just as with the USA Today at your favorite hotel ... if you would prefer not to receive your daily security protection, please inform the attendant at the front desk. Eighteen cents will be credited to your account each day.

At the present time, only full subscriptions are available. However, if there is sufficient customer demand, we may offer a Sunday-only subscription plan in the future.

(Just think of what eighteen cents a day could do for night club safety!)