During a recent church renovation in southern Austria, preservationists discovered what appears to be a long-lost relative of Mickey Mouse. Depicted in a mural dating to around 1300 AD is a bipedal figure bearing an eerie resemblance to the 1928 cartoon character, complete with big round ears, pointy nose, and two-toned coloring scheme. No word yet from Lawrence Lessig as to how this might affect the Walt Disney Company's copyright (which was recently extended through an act of Congress). With "separated at birth?"-style photos.

Mickey Mouse at Least 700 Years Old

Domain disputes are a dime a dozen, but legal experts say Visa's recent win over a one-man website is the first time a corporate trademark has prevailed over a word in the dictionary.

Visa Suit: Dictionary Discredited

The Council of Europe has adopted a measure that would criminalize Internet hate speech, including hyperlinks to pages that contain offensive content. It also obliquely refers to the Holocaust, outlawing sites that deny, minimize, approve or justify crimes against humanity, particularly those that occurred during World War II.

Europeans Outlaw Net Hate Speech

Youngsters are risking death by climbing up lamp posts, breaking the light open and sniffing the gas. Kids believe the neon-filled bulbs will give them a buzz, but the inert gas has no effect. Instead, they run the risk of lights exploding in their faces. Youngsters in Dundee have already targeted nearly 300 lamp posts in several city housing schemes.

Probably the Stupidest Kids' Craze in the World

Police in Racine Wisconsin raided a downtown bar and cited all persons in the downstairs "techno room" for being "inmates of a disorderly house." Club patrons who were not in the techno room were allowed to leave the venue unmolested. "Rave parties are not going to be part of our community and are not going to be tolerated," said Lt. Robert Purdy. Police arrested 3 individuals for drugs and issued the remaining 440+ club patrons $968 tickets for listening to the wrong kind of music.

Police Crackdown on Techno

"Lee Gordan Demarbre was shocked when he recently screened his film, a musical which tells the tale of Jesus's second-coming and his subsequent kung fu battle with vampires, in Salt Lake City, Utah. Amazingly, Demarbre received no gripes from the largely Mormon population even though he thought having "ultimate action hero" Jesus and his Mexican wrestler sidekick fight "mythological horrors and science gone mad" would infuriate biblethumpers."

Mormons Down with Kung Fu Jesus

Mattel is a harsh, bullying corporation that does not deserve your sympathy or that of the courts: "A British dollmaker who turned Barbie into a partly nude Dungeon Doll, complete with rubber bondage dress and helmet, did not appear to violate the copyrights of Mattel Inc., a judge said. The judge, citing an advertisement describing the doll as wearing 'lederhosen-style Bavarian bondage dress and helmet in rubber with PVC-mask,' wrote that the doll is 'quite different from that typically appearing on Mattel's products for children.'"

Judge Submits to the Will of Bondage Barbie

"Christopher Campbell, 42, told authorities that he believed his cats were shape shifters, mythical creatures who can change form, and that they were trying to kill him... Deputies found the cats in the garage, mutilated and burned, laid side by side in tire rims. While deputies checked out the house, neighbors reported seeing a naked man running down the road. Campbell later slipped back into his house."

Nudist Thwarts Evil Shape-Shifting Housecats

Disturbing article about a provision of the No Child Left Behind Act, which forces public secondary schools to give military recruiters the names and addresses of attending students or get their federal aid cut. An act that lives up to its title.

Military Demanding Names of Children

Another Champion Procrastinator: "Moroccan surgeons have relieved a 75 year old woman of what she thought was a long-standing tumour but turned out to be the remains of a 46-year-old fetus."

Moroccan Surgeons Deliver 46 Year Old Fetus