This is so cool.

Jetpacks! These guys are actually making and selling JETPACKS!!!!

"Be the envy of the neighborhood with a handjob in the front yard."

"Just twist and tug"

"2 Handjobs for under 5 bucks! That's a great deal in any economy."

I want a handjob for chanukah!

"Researchers from the UCLA AIDS Institute and colleagues have for the first time demonstrated that human blood stem cells can be engineered into cells that can target and kill HIV-infected cells -- a process that potentially could be used against a range of chronic viral diseases."

Awesome!

We did it, America!

HIPAA is around to protect our privacy. It doesn't do a great job but it's better than nothing.

Congress is going to give health care entities an exception to notify people if they get broken in to as long as they use cryptography.

Not only are specifications of crypto not set for standards or implementation evaluation is this exception.... IT SHOULDN'T FUCKING MATTER.

IF YOU LOSE MY DATA, I WANT TO KNOW!!!!!

NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OK.

Congress needs to get punched in the face!

You don't have to work out, use public toilets, or hang out in hospitals to get MRSA. Now all you have to do is go swimming.

MRSA 'superbug' found in ocean, public beaches

If that isn't bad enough, there is a fish parasite that eats tongues.

Crazy fucking alien parasite!

Fuck mother nature. She is out to kill you.

I was just walking in from having a smoke and I’ll be damned if I didn’t hear this conversation:

Woman: Where are we at? (In reference to a project)
Man: I just wrote the random number generator.

Really? Really! Really?!?!?!

Is there a hot or not for vulnerabilities?

Because this is like the hottest, drunkest girl at the party that I've seen in a long long time. You know the one...

that talks about how mature she is right after her 12 shots of jager and then insists that she's not a slut for making out with those two girls 5 minutes prior. The same one that gives you crabs but doesn't realize she has it for months because "its just a rash from running" but at her heart's inner most core, she knows isn't true as the chubbiness that adds to her bust size and waste line together seem to negate any concept of exercise that didn't involve getting plowed by frat row.

Microsoft, we love you, you dirty dirty whore.

Microsoft, you dirty dirty whore.

He isn't running on a "one man, one robot" policy yet but he is running.
Rufus For Mayor

Rufus For Mayor

I don't know who has or hasn't seen this but its just awesome.

"squarin numbers are just like women, if theyre under thirteen just do them in your head."

It is just pure genius.

"and if you made a factor tree of the factors that caused my girl to leave me youd have a tree... full of asian porn."

New Math

As I hear more and more about the events going on in China leading up to the summer Olympic games, I have one thing to say:

CHINA HAS SOME BIBLICAL SHIT GOING ON!

In the past few days, I found out that China has been going through some tough plagues. Currently, the Chinese Army is having to remove algae from the beaches and have deployed a bunch of people to the border near Mongolia to repel a swarm of locust headed toward Beijing.

"The northern province of Inner Mongolia has mobilized 33,000 people to repel swarms of locusts, the official Xinhua news agency reported. The locusts have come within 430 kilometers (267 miles) of Beijing and infested an area of 1.3 million hectares (5,000 square miles)."

While this sucks a lot for China, I started to think about how this is not the only plague going on in China.

May I Present Exhibit: Totally Screwed.

Earthquake - This changed the maps of their country. Incredible!

I guess architecture and structural integrity are considered ancient Chinese secrets.

Floods - The earthquakes and issues with damning on the rivers have caused crazy flooding.

I can't say too much after Katrina and the mid-west. No one seems to have a solution for the imminent threat water poses. Potential solution: pollute it till it stops destroying shit?

Rats - Apparently, they are trucking the rats to cities as a supplement for food because of how many have swarmed villages.

The best part is that they are using them for food!

Frogs - What the fuck? The frogs are actually swarming cities and villages.