Enjoy the wit and wisdom from the House of Britney.
It is best not to wear a denim miniskirt so short that when seated it practically disappears beneath the protuberance of one's pregnant belly, producing an image that is more gynecological than fashionable.
One came close to forgetting that she had encouraged the attention with her ... second husband known for displaying the tawdry, laconic demeanor of a pimp on weed.
Focus, focus, focus! A young woman was weeping. She was being pulled down by the pop culture undertow. She was begging for mercy. All the while, the gum continued to smack and crackle in her mouth. Her tears were dislodging her false eyelashes.
Why would Spears, with money and style professionals at her disposal, greet a television crew looking so terribly two-bit?
These were schoolgirl clothes turned discomforting and grotesque because their seams were being tested by a pregnant woman who seemed bewildered.
The interview has been removed from YouTube, but you can still find it on Buzznet. NBC also offers a transcript of the broadcast.
"I make good tea okay?"
Lauer: How far along are you? Spears: I don’t know. I think six to seven months.
Spears: That driving incident, I did it with my dad. I’d sit on his lap and I drive. We’re country.
Hee haw!
Spears: To be good music it’s gotta be timeless. You know?
Spears: I just love funny people. Funny people are great. You know?
Speaking of funny people, let's detour for a moment:
The inventory of official gifts from 2004, published this week by the state department reads like the wish list of the sort of paranoid survivalist who holes up in his log cabin to await Armageddon, having long ago severed all ties with the rest of the world.
The president received a startling array of weapons, including assorted daggers, and a machete from Gabon. He got the braided whip with a wooden handle from the Hungarian prime minister. The "Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook", a gift from the Sultan of Brunei, has some tips on how to use some of these implements in a tight spot.
From Jordan: a small arsenal of guns, including a $10,000 sniper rifle; six jars of fertile volcanic soils found around the country; an aromatherapy gift set; scented candles and a pottery incense burner.
Boing Boing: If The Ten Commandments was a Teen Comedy
Topic: Humor
3:15 pm EDT, May 21, 2006
"Ten Things I Hate About Commandments" is a mash-up trailer for a John Hughes style teen comedy, using footage from the Charlton Heston version of The Ten Commandments. It's masterfully done, and milk-out-the-nose funny.
I don't know about "milk-out-the-nose", but I did enjoy the Samuel L. Jackson voiceover.
This article is about shopping; I'm not suggesting you read it. But I thought this was a great opening line:
I DON'T particularly like the Rolling Stones, mostly because a few years ago I sat behind Keith Richards at a screening of the movie "Traffic," and he kept banging his chair into my shin and never apologized.
This is more exploitative than meditative, but it is about the speed limit -- specifically, the 55 mph posted limit on the I-285 loop around metropolitan Atlanta, GA.
If the authorities were inclined, the students who executed this "meditation" could probably have been tried for conspiracy to commit acts of terrorism, or some such thing.
Fortunately for the students, the police were too busy ticketing the drivers going 75 mph in the other direction.
That, and worrying about all the foreigners at the ports. (Pay no attention to the abundantly obvious fact that the containers are foreign, too, and most of them are not being inspected by anyone, regardless of citizenship.)
"Daily Show" correspondent Ed Helms profiles an e-mail service that will notify you when the Rapture comes.
Comedy Central offers the whole segment in streaming video.
Here's a choice snippet, from the exchange with Russell Rasche, the lawyer who offers to add a "Rapture Clause" to your last will and testament:
Rasche: "If you contemplate what would actually happen, you would have to accept the mark of the beast as evil world ruler, or you could not buy or sell. You couldn't get food. You couldn't do anything. You're looking ... at a catastrophe."
Helms: "It sounds like with all of those things happening, the thing you would want to protect you the most ... is a good legal document."
