Star magazine, via Celebitchy, says that Tom Cruise is planning to build a ... wait for it ... wait for it ... a 10 million dollar underground bunker in Colorado to prepare for the arrival of Xenu, his alien god who is at the heart of scientology.
No, no, no, you've got it all wrong. Xenu isn't his alien god. Xenu is an evil Galactic Overlord. Scientology basically has no gods. Tom wants to make sure that Kate and Suri can survive a nuclear attack. But wait, isn't that what Xenu did last time? And yet the Thetans are still here among us...
RE: TOM CRUISE IS NUTS, TINY - What Would Tyler Durden Do