Okay, *this* is what I was looking for! I've been searching high and low on the web so that I could meme it.
This webpage contains multiple 20-question quizzes on the issues. For example, the "Presidency 2004 Quiz" asks you where you stand on 20 different issues, pro and con, strongly or moderately or not at all. Then at the end you can compare your own answers against the answers of the major candidates, and see which candidates most closely match your own views.