When you're dating a guy, you can forgive him for some indiscretions, but it's nearly impossible to turn the other cheek if he strays. Well, Cosmo did some investigating to ascertain the traits that may make men more likely to cheat, and some of our findings were surprising eye-openers.

1. Is he a guy? Yes? Then expect him to wander all over the menu.
2. Does he still have testicles? Yes? What, you were expecting him to not check out the waitress?
3. See 1 and 2.

Thank you Cosmo for still more things that are useless.

Dating 101: Will Your Guy Cheat on You? -- Yahoo! Personals

The nation mourns.

Bullwinkle Assassinated!

It has not been a good time on Wall Street, and now it's gotten even lower

The photo trifecta.... check it out.

Gothamist: Wall Street Really Needs Relief

Could have done this a couple of ways, but humor seems to work.

YouTube - Sank

Bakri is a Muslim preacher of hate who wants all women to be covered from head to toe.

His daughter loves partying, happily poses for raunchy topless photos and is described by a lover as “very adventurous in bed”.

"I'll take "Depraved Western Culture" for $400 Alex."
"Sorry, she says it'll be a bit more for the "depraved" part."

LOL

Poles apart | The Sun |News

"I miss Michael every single day, but at least he can finally rest now," said Sheila Haige, who watched as insurance rates ate away at her husband over time. "What Michael went through, the humiliating forms, the invasive background checks, the complete loss of dignity and hope—I wouldn't wish that kind of torture on anyone."

I'm not sure if this is satire or reportage. It's just that close.

Man Succumbs To 7-Year Battle With Health Insurance | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Nils Olav already has medals for good conduct and long service. He made honorary colonel-in-chief of the elite Norwegian King's Guard in 2005. And on Friday he was knighted.

Not bad for a 3-foot tall penguin — actually, three of them.

King penguin knighted by Norway - Animal weirdness- msnbc.com

Every year, after the AL manager addresses his team, Ichiro bursts from his locker, a bundle of kinetic energy, and proceeds, in English, to disparage the National League with an H-bomb of F-bombs, stunning first-timers who had no idea Ichiro speaks the queen’s language fluently and making returnees happy that they had played well enough to see the pep talk again.

Now this, I'd like to see, probably more than the game.

Update! Ichiro 8! National League 0!

Ichiro's speech to All-Stars revealed - MLB - Yahoo! Sports

According to Kirk Mishkin, Head Research Consultant for AIMRCo, "Many of the sites we surveyed have reported 20-30% growth in membership rates since mid-May when the checks were first sent out, and typically the summer is a slow period for this market."

Jillian Fox, spokeswoman for LSGmodels.com, one of the sites reporting figures to AIMRCo, added, "In a June 15, 2008 survey to our members, thirty two percent of respondents referenced the recent stimulus package as part of their decision to either become a new member, or renew an existing membership."

Well, I guess they named their package correctly...

President Bush Boosts Porn Industry With Economic Stimulus Plan

An Alabama minister who died in June of "accidental mechanical asphyxia" was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report. Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge's death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery's Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking).

Safe sex, aside from the "he's dead" part. If this were less common it might be Darwin worthy, but the punchline is he graduated from Liberty University and later worked for the late Jerry Falwell. A former colleague at the school remembered him as well.

Dead Reverend's Rubber Fetish - October 8, 2007