] Check this shit out (Fig. 1). That's bonafide, 100%-real
] data, my friends. I took it myself over the course of two
] weeks. And this was not a leisurely two weeks, either; I
] busted my ass day and night in order to provide you with
] nothing but the best data possible. Now, let's look a bit
] more closely at this data, remembering that it is
] absolutely first-rate. Do you see the exponential
] dependence? I sure don't. I see a bunch of crap.
]
] Christ, this was such a waste of my time.
]
] Banking on my hopes that whoever grades this will
] just look at the pictures, I drew an exponential through
] my noise. I believe the apparent legitimacy is enhanced
] by the fact that I used a complicated computer program to
] make the fit. I understand this is the same process by
] which the top quark was discovered.

Funniest. Lab Report. Ever.

Kovar/Hall

] Bad Weather Closings for News 14 Carolina
] Raleigh, NC on Feb 27th, 2004

I would totally snarf my cheerios if "Sammy's House of CockRings" scrolled on the bottom of 11 Alive news.

Snotmonkey.com - News Closings

They may cut your dick in half
And serve it to a pig
And though it hurts, you'll laugh
And dance a dickless jig
But that's the way it goes
In war we're shat upon
Though we die, La Resistance lives oooooonnnnn!

While I've listened to this song several times when it comes up on my playlist, I only just paid attention to the lyrics. If they can bring the Lion King to Broadway, they need to bring this!

PS The guy who sings as Gregory, Howard McGillin, has stared in several Broadway musicals. He holds the record as the longest person cast as the Phantom in The Phantom of the Opera

South Park La Resistance lyrics

And the sun comes over us again
We lament, we pine, and we rescind
And we ask for understanding
But aren't we the stingy ones indeed
When it's asked of us in the end?
We watch the days go by
Compete and then we die
So few ever ask why
But so many just abuse the design

-Bad Religion

] "We Didn't Start the Fire" is an excellent education tool
] for teachers and students! Below are the song's lyrics.
] Click on the links within the lyrics for info on the
] major events of the 20th century!

Neat site with a link to more info about every event/person mentioned in the classic Billy Joel song. Some are fairly obscure

We Didn't Start the Fire

] I travel a lot and one of my favorite destination lead
] through poisoned with radiation, so called Chernobyl
] "dead zone" It is 130kms from my home. Why favourite?
] because one can ride there for hours and not meet any
] single car and not to see any single soul. People left
] and nature is blooming, there are beautiful places,
] woods, lakes. There is no newly built roads, but those
] which left from 80th in fairly good condition

This ~24 year old Russian talks about racing her crotch rocket through the Chernobyl wastelands. She talks about grewing up there, the day the disaster happened (her father is a nuclear scientist, and life in Russia since.

When you ride alone, you ride in Chernobyl

] "If my child was in elementary school, I would welcome this with
] open arms and say, "please, please, tell me my kid got on the bus
] and got off the bus,"' said School Board chairwoman Jane Gallucci.

She latered added, "I mean come on, I the fucking School Board Chairwoman; my career is far more important than something so Donny-Reed-like as taking care of my child. I'd have to take some sort of an interest in his upbringing if I was to know if he got on the bus or not. I'd rather not even think twice about having my child figureprinted so then I know he is going to school. That saves me time of explaining things like how skipping school is wrong, or why he shouldn't talk with or ever go anywhere with strangers. God forbid having a kid would tak time out of my day to personally see him off in the morning, or getting a fellow students parent to see them off. All of these are stupid life lessions anyway. It damn time society finally takes some responsiblity in raising my child."

Parents these days suck ass. That's not teenage angst, thats from watching the knee-jerk that was Columbine.

Tampabay: Have your thumb ready to ride the bus

Elonka wrote:
] If people are going to blame Bush for everything that goes
] wrong, then I believe that they should also give him credit
] for some of the things that go *right*. And say what you
] will, we haven't had another 9/11 while on his watch.

Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.
Lisa: That's specious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, dear.
Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: Oh, how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn't work.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It's just a stupid rock.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don't see any tigers around, do you?
[Homer thinks of this, then pulls out some money]
Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.

Furor over Bush's 9/11 ad

] If the flag is present, your TV will go into a special
] high-security mode and lock down its high-quality digital
] outputs. If you want to record a flagged program, you

Christ this pisses me off. Nearly all non-hackers I talk with this about, even people with lots of tech background see no problem with this complete lost of control. I too can understand the potential. Imagine spending an extra $2 on top of a movie ticket and watching a movie opening night in your living room. The technology is cool, the MPAA is not. They will abuse this to no end, and will only allow copying when they can't profit from the content.

Example: If a Simpons DVD set slated to ship in the fall, do you really think any Simpsons episodes Fox broadcasts for 6 months before that release will be copyable? Hell no. Now some jackass in Fox Marketing controls my ability to record. Remeber DivX, the original Divx? You think thats going away? Tivo + time limit control flags = Divx for TV shows. It will totally happen. Self-destruction shows, forced down-sampling, and other policies are totally in our future.

Worse of all I feel will be a "can't change the channel" flag. Did that Turner Exec say changing channels was stealing a while back? Wake up people and show that you will not take irresponible and indiscriminet use of these flags.

Losing Control of Your TV

] The information coming in from the Mars rovers is
] exciting for NASA, but it's ending some of the action for
] bookies in Britain.
]
] The bookmaking firm Ladbrokes announced it's stopped
] taking bets on the question of whether there was ever
] life on Mars.
]
] NASA scientists said yesterday that the rover Opportunity
] found strong evidence to suggest at least part of the Red
] Planet once had a wet enough environment to sustain life.
]
] A Ladbrokes spokesman says the latest odds in favor of
] past life on Mars were 16-1. Back in the '70s, when the
] first bets were placed, the odds were 1,000-1.
]
] He says he expects that scientists will find evidence of
] past life on Mars within the coming years.

Bookies Stop Taking Bets on Life on Mars