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The Onion | Mom Finds Out About Blog |
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| Topic: Humor |
12:12 am EST, Nov 14, 2003 |
] In a turn of events the 30-year-old characterized as ] "horrifying," Kevin Widmar announced Tuesday that his ] mother Lillian has discovered his weblog. The Onion | Mom Finds Out About Blog |
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| Topic: Humor |
2:01 am EST, Nov 10, 2003 |
Please do not worry. Scientists at Los Alamos National Laboratory are on top of this idea of building an elevator 62,000 miles into space. But just think how silly engineers surely sounded that day some 170 years ago when they proposed digging up every street in every city to lay pipes to every dwelling ... and their ensuing idea to lay wire mazes that would allow everyone to talk with anyone in the country. That and deliver last spring's movies, high-speed spam and "Everybody Loves Raymond." Clearly, nothing like an elevator into space will ever work. This is an editorial from the LA Times. No, not an op-ed from a humorist. It is an unsigned editorial, right after one about Governor Schwarzenegger and before one about traffic safety. The tone of it strikes me as very odd. That, and jabs at "Raymond" seem to be popping up everywhere. Punch Troposphere for Me |
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Has Rumsfeld lost his Mojo? - The Times of India |
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| Topic: Humor |
8:51 am EST, Nov 3, 2003 |
] Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said he does not ] know whether or not he has lost his mojo, as a leading ] news magazine suggested, because he doesn't really know ] what mojo is. Has Rumsfeld lost his Mojo? - The Times of India |
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Generic Candy Corn Will Give You AIDS |
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| Topic: Humor |
4:26 pm EST, Oct 28, 2003 |
] Perhaps most importantly, keep in mind that eating just a ] single kernel of candy corn manufactured by a company ] other than Brach's Confections will give you a deadly ] case of full-blown AIDS. Generic Candy Corn Will Give You AIDS |
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| Topic: Humor |
9:45 pm EST, Oct 26, 2003 |
] Q. What is Engrish? ] ] ] A. Engrish can be simply defined as the humorous English ] mistakes that appear in Japanese advertising and product ] design. Be sure to check the clothing section ... Engrish.com |
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retroCRUSH: The worst halloween custumes of the 1970s! |
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| Topic: Humor |
8:56 pm EDT, Oct 3, 2003 |
] I suspect that "Mommy I want to be Atari's Asteroids Game ] for Halloween" was only slightly less creepy for parents ] to hear than, "Mommy, I just chopped up Fido with a ] shovel and had sex with his face!" Kids who couldn't ] afford this one had to settle for being Intellivision's ] "Astroblast" game, instead. Ahhh, Halloween in the 70's, when space age materials science had finally trickled down to the common man in the form of the ubiquitous full color printed trash bag plus plastic mask costume. Each one celebrated, while simultaneously advertising, a pop culture icon. How innocent we were. Looking back it must have been fucking creepy to see the all of the neighborhood kids turn into little stereotypical billboards for an evening. It must have been the moment people started to realize that maybe consumer culture had gone too far.... And here we have the hall of shame: retroCRUSH: The worst halloween custumes of the 1970s! |
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Kazaa sues record labels for copyright infringement. No, thats not a typo. |
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| Topic: Humor |
8:36 pm EDT, Sep 24, 2003 |
] Sharman Networks, the company behind the Kazaa ] file-sharing software, filed a federal lawsuit on Monday ] accusing the entertainment companies of using ] unauthorized versions of its software in their efforts to ] snoop out users. The guy that runs Kazaa is nuts. Kazaa sues record labels for copyright infringement. No, thats not a typo. |
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Issuing the Voight-Kampff Test to San Francisco Mayoral Candidates |
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| Topic: Humor |
12:31 am EDT, Sep 6, 2003 |
] With Willie Brown finally leaving his gold (plated), ] diamond-encrusted throne, there has been no shortage of ] hats thrown into the mayoral ring. San Francisco politics ] are now a microcosm of California's own, greater ] gubernatorial "challenges." Rather than confuse ] you with endorsements, position papers and other outmoded ] means of political influence, we've decided to get ] to the bottom of the only question that matters: Is a ] particular candidate human or an insidious replicant, ] possessed of physical strength and computational ] abilities far exceeding our own, but lacking empathy and ] possibly even bent on our destruction as a species? ] ] The only reliable method that we know of for sniffing out ] replicants is the Voight-Kampff Test, created by Phillip ] K. Dick in his book, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep ] and later used by Harrison Ford's character, ] Deckard, in the film Blade Runner. Issuing the Voight-Kampff Test to San Francisco Mayoral Candidates |
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