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French's Introduces Antibacterial Mustard

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French's Introduces Antibacterial Mustard
Topic: Humor 8:26 pm EDT, Apr 12, 2005

ROCHESTER, NY—In response to increasing American demand for tangier, more hygienic meals, condiment giant French's has introduced a new antibacterial mustard.

"Each year, 15 million cases of bacterial food poisoning originate in U.S. home kitchens, resulting in nausea, diarrhea, fever, and even death," read a press release French's issued Monday. "Now, lunch doesn't have to endanger your health! All-new French's Antibacterial Mustard is the perfect way to add flavor to, and subtract harmful disease-causing bacteria from, your family's favorite meals!"

According to French's representative Darla Nelson, the new hypoallergenic mustard complements the company's expanding line—which includes French's Honey Dijon Mustard and French's Sweet & Tangy Honey Mustard—and kills over 99.99% of harmful germs.

The mustard is orange in color, more translucent than the traditional varieties, and somewhat medicinal in flavor. In product trials performed by French's, mothers preferred antibacterial mustard five to one when informed of its sterilizing properties.

A television commercial for the mustard plays up its prominent role in luncheon sanitization.
...
In spite of such warnings, Nelson said all French's mustards will eventually contain triclosan, the most trusted antibacterial agent used in hospitals today, and that the company is currently working on three new germ-fighting sauces: Cattlemen's Kansas City Antibiotic BBQ Sauce, Frank's RedHot Hot Sauce with Hydrogen Peroxide, and French's Worcestershire-Neosporin Sauce.

French's Introduces Antibacterial Mustard



 
 
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