Washington, DC - In an effort to reduce the federal deficit, President Bush announced today that all Americans must work weekends at Wal-Mart.

The retail giant has agreed to absorb the $2.4 trillion deficit in return for Americans providing free labor. Bush, who now calls himself the “Store Manager in Chief”, called the program “another bold step in our efforts to privatize the US government.”
Wal-Mart will pay one dollar towards the deficit for every hour an American is locked in a store and forced to stack boxes. “If every American gives up just 20 hours every weekend,” said Bush “we will erase the deficit in nine short years.”

BBSPOT: All Americans Must Work Weekends at Wal-Mart