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Current Topic: Humor

Doonesbury@Slate - Nixon's It - 11/4/2004
Topic: Humor 2:53 am EST, Nov  4, 2004

Nixon has been dead for 10 years as of the day after my last birthday. Due to his position and place in history, his name can now be used as a verb. Gary Trudeau can drop the apostrophe. Someone can be found to argue this point better then I can. This may be a job for Jon Stewart.

Doonesbury@Slate - Nixon's It - 11/4/2004

Bush and his one finger victory salute
Topic: Humor 2:03 am EDT, Oct 28, 2004

This looks old, but it is infact George Bush giving the middle finger to the camera while preparing to be video taped. Sounds like it was in response to commands he was getting over his monitor. Nothing all too shocking about this, but its just begging for inclusion in a cut-up..

"She's still telling me what to do.. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.. [the bird] Just a one finger victory salute."

via BoingBoing

Bush and his one finger victory salute

message-from-God.gif (GIF Image, 744x900 pixels)
Topic: Humor 1:45 pm EDT, Sep 23, 2004

I thought it was an interesting coincidence that a state with questionable presidential election results would be pummeled by hurricanes just before the next election. Then I thought it was an interesting coincidence that the storms spared Miami, who voted for Gore in 2000. Just out of curiosity, I overlaid two map: one of the tracks of the hurricanes of 2004, and one of the election results of 2000.

This is no longer an interesting coincidence. It is an unmistakable message from God. I hope everyone is listening.


These damn people and their Gods! This only blinds to the real truth; the truth you cannot take. This is terrorism! Another battle in the war against the ideology of death.

This is clearly another example of Bin Laden using his weather machine to attack America. Right now he is sitting on his magic carpet, hovering over the Azores, plotting the course of the next killer storm. He has had success with Florida, however he will likely start shifting to the use of Nor'easters and winter storms. El Queda is just probing our weaknesses. This is only the beginning.

We must not give into the terror! El Queda must not be allowed to have an effect on our elections. Screw Bin Laden. Screw his magic carpet. And most of all, screw his infernal weather machine. The sky will not fall on my watch!

FURTHERMORE: Check the storm tracks for proof that we will win the war on terror! Both Ivan (think recent Russian terror attacks) and Jeannie (everyone has a bitch) have been backtracking. We are winning. We are forcing them to retreat! Like the blasts over Ft. McHenry, let the blowing winds tell you that our flag will only wave in these gusts, never to fall to the ground.

message-from-God.gif (GIF Image, 744x900 pixels)

Onion | US Military Clears A-Team of all charges
Topic: Humor 2:30 pm EDT, Aug 11, 2004

] After more than 30 years spent hiding in the Los Angeles
] underground as wanted criminals, the members of the crack
] commando unit Alpha Team, commonly known as the A-Team,
] were cleared of all charges brought against them by the
] U.S. military, an army official announced Monday.

Its about time...

Onion | US Military Clears A-Team of all charges

Topic: Humor 10:29 am EDT, Aug  9, 2004

Hello cattle, time to get branded!

Now repeat after me:
"Got Milk?"
"Think Different."
"Just Do It."
"There Grrreat!"


CNN Convention Balloons Coverage
Topic: Humor 11:11 pm EDT, Jul 29, 2004

On CNN there was some guy yelling about balloons the entire time after the Kerry acceptance speech. "Keep coming baloons, No confetti yet, Alright go balloons. All baloons. Come on guys lets move it, Jesus, we need more balloons. God damnit. Go confetti. I want more balloons. What happened to all the balloons. What's happening balloons there aren't. What the fuck are you guys doing up there? We want more baloons coming down, more baloons." It went on for at least a good three or four minutes. Unbelievable. Update: It was the director of the DNC..

Joi Ito's Web: Brainstorms 2004 dinner interview notes - Ted Turner
Topic: Humor 3:39 pm EDT, Jul 17, 2004

I want to be like Ted Turner when I grow up. I just got the sudden urge to edit together various comments from this interview into one long string. Its an effort to capture the essence of Ted..

The invasion of Iraq was the biggest debacle in the history of the world... except maybe the AOL Time-Warner merger. They can't even get Haiti right, how are they going to get Iraq right? Wars may have worked in the past, but now we have pro-football. Before there wasn't anything to be excited about so War was exciting. War isn't fun anymore. 9/11 wouldn't have happened if I had been president. We were having a cold war with Russia when I went to Russia to produce the Good Will Games. A few years later, the Berlin Wall came down. The AOL Time-Warner merger was bullshit. It was good for me. I ended up with 10% of the stock in AOL/TW. I was friendly with two other people who owned 10% each so it was OK for me. Why not? They are the original American cattle. The meat has 1/2 as much fat as beef. I am going into the restaurant business and philanthropy. Rupert Murdoch is is a bad journalist. Sloppy journalist. He runs Britain. I asked Tony Blair why he was allowed to have so much influence and Tony Blair said, "I wouldn't have my job without Rupert." He wants to rule the world. He has Britain, almost has Australia and he would like the US. He has no interest in helping anyone, in charity. He won't even give you an interview. He's not interesting in whether what he is doing is right or wrong. The $1M / yr I was getting as Vice Chairman was just hush money. You also need vision. My vision comes from thinking. I don't watch TV.

Joi Ito's Web: Brainstorms 2004 dinner interview notes - Ted Turner

Photoshop Contests | Martha's Jail Cell
Topic: Humor 9:54 pm EDT, Jul 16, 2004

In a break from my very strict "no martha" policy, I feel a strange urge to post this older link.

Photoshop Contests | Martha's Jail Cell

Yahoo! News - Pope Worries About 'Soulless' U.S. Life
Topic: Humor 4:41 pm EDT, May 29, 2004

] Pope John Paul warned several U.S.
] bishops Friday that American society is in danger of
] turning against spirituality in favor of materialistic
] desires, giving way to a "soulless vision of life."
] To fight this, the pontiff argued, the U.S. church must
] study contemporary culture to find a way to appeal to
] youths. He made his remarks to bishops from Indianapolis,
] Chicago and Milwaukee who were making a periodic visit to
] the Vatican.

The Pope has yet to see Dance Dance Resurrection.

Yahoo! News - Pope Worries About 'Soulless' U.S. Life

Dance Dance Resurrection - A new Concept in Christian Electronic Entertainment
Topic: Humor 7:59 am EDT, May 29, 2004

] This game will bring the love of our Lord into the lives
] of these children, who otherwise would continue down the
] videogame path straight into the claws of Satan, and also
] bring a little much needed cash into your treasury - 25c
] of every dollar spent in one of our DDR machines will be
] paid directly into your Churches' account!

Dance Dance Resurrection - A new Concept in Christian Electronic Entertainment

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