So I reckon Michelle Obama sits around, forcibly drugged on valium and thorazine so that she doesn't kick her husband right in the ass for being such a turncoat to anyone but Republicans, robber barons and Wall Street.

Rather than tackle poverty or inequality or the fact that our nation keeps falling into the sewers faster than one can say "one term," our first lady has kills time like a schoolyard bully picking on fat kids.

"You kids are fat, and that means you can't serve in the military for us, so skip dessert, eat a bowl of rice a day and live your life like a North Korean peasant. Here's your green smock. They only come in one size, so lose weight, you fat little shit." She says to the youth of America.

One kid raises his hand.

"Miss Obama! All we can afford are fatty, undernourishing foods like McDonalds and the shit they sell at Aldi because my dad lost his job three years ago, your husband is forcing us to buy health insurance and he took all our money to help banks and the wealthy in their quest to fuck 99% of our nation. Oh, and I forgot about the OBAMA tax cuts. We used to call them the Bush tax cuts, until your husband embraced them, while telling us he didn't embrace them, but passed them anyway. I mean, if starving to death on some days while gorging on trans-fat laden chemical beef helped allow gays to serve in the military, then it's all worth it. I call that a fair trade-off."

"You are mistaken, on one point, kid" The first lady says, "We let the rich have the Obama tax cut so that the middle class could retain their tax cut, too."

"Um...what's the middle class?" The kid shifts in his desk, which cracks and whines under his girth.

"It's this family that lives in Illinois, down the block from where we used to live. They make sixty thousand dollars per year. Do you really want to see them pay more in taxes?"

The kid slumps over onto his desk, dead of a heart attack.

At least Chris Christie, the teacher-hating governor of New Jersey supports poor, drugged up, silenced Michelle in her quest to help make every man, woman and child, gay or straight, physically fit enough to die overseas in the courageous act of protecting the wealthy people in our nation.

Chris Christie says: "I think it's a really good goal to encourage kids to eat better. I've struggled with my weight for 30 years. And it's a struggle. And if a kid can avoid that in his adult years or her adult years, more power to them. And I think the first lady is speaking out well,"

So, when it's Michelle Obama, who seems relatively fit, telling you that you are a fat fuck, it is easy to dismiss the sentiments as bullying.

Now, when a big, porcine slob such as Chris Christie calls you a fat fuck, at least you know that he knows what he is talking about. He is one of the most morbidly obese people I have ever seen! The local press ran a picture of him in shorts and a white (sweaty) t-shirt picking strawberries, a few months ago. He looked like a bucket of shit! He was so fat that if he fell over, you just know he couldn't get back up again. So fat that his wife would suffocate while attempting to give him a blowjob!

I urge all of you to email the office of Chris Christie, governor of New Jersey and ask him when was the last time he saw his dick! You can tell that fucker pisses all over the seat and then leaves it there.

Fat Chris Christie Fights the Obesity of Others...